A while back I read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. It was a pretty good book, though not as life changing as Susan Cain's Quiet. Nevertheless Brown made some interesting points. One thing inparticular that I liked where the responses (p. 232) that a bunch of 8th graders gave her to the difference between belonging and fitting in:
"Belonging is being somewhere where you want to be, and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere where you really want to be, but they don't care one way or the other."
"Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else."
"I get to be me if I belong. I have to be like you to fit in."
I think they got it right. Do you belong or do you fit in?